06 - 11 75 19 95 info@artedellanima.nl
The Lion of Hokusai.

The Lion of Hokusai.

Hokusai drew a lion every day of his life. Like a ritual, to make the day peaceful.

Take a trip to Japan from around 1820. Imagine an artist, print artist, painter and etcher. For the sake of convenience, assume he is listening to the name Hokusai. And that the name means Studio of the North.
It is probably easier to put yourself in the position of a man who is about to marry the woman of his dreams. That is not tied to time and place.
Hokusai is a famous man, and buying a drawing from him for your future is a wonderful, valuable and expensive gift.
Three months before the wedding ceremony, the man visits Hokusai and orders a drawing of a lion. The drawing will be ready for the wedding. The price has been agreed.
A month before that date, the man asks Hokusai how the lion is doing. Hokusai responds somewhat surprised that he has not started yet.
A week before the wedding the man asks again about the progress and receives the same answer.
On the day of the wedding ceremony, the man nervously reports to Hokusai. He comes to pick up the lion. However, this is not yet ready. Whether he wants to come back in an hour. Disappointed and almost in a panic, the man reports again an hour later. He is kindly received and taken to the studio. There Hokusai takes a sheet of paper and paints a lion in one smooth motion. The lion.
The man is stunned, the lion is more beautiful than he could ever have imagined, but made so quickly that his eye could not follow it. “It’s beautiful, master, but so much money for such a small effort?”
Hokusai sighs and gestures for the man to follow him. They go through a corridor, a room, another corridor and finally end up in a room that is full of cupboards. The walls are completely hidden from view by cupboards that reach to the ceiling. Hokusai opens the doors of a few and tens, hundreds, thousands of drawn lions tumble out.
“You understand,” says Hokusai, “these lions determine the price of your lion. I have been living with these lions for 50 years, so that your lion could be born today. ”

The man bowed shyly, paid the bill and ran hopefully, with the Lion under his arm, to his future wife.

Ewoud Dekker

Painting: Marian de Neef

From being under strain to a Burnout

From being under strain to a Burnout

THIRTY YEARS AGO THE EXPRESSION ‘BURNOUT’ HAD NOT EVEN COME INTO BEING

Tired heroes are becoming increasingly younger

It sounds very unlikely but thirty years ago the expression ‘burnout’ had not even come into being.
It was referred to as being under strain and those suffering most from it were in their fifties. And, as was befitting that time, it mostly concerned men. I would have liked to, at that time, thought of the resounding name – tired heroes. An honorary nickname. Men who worked, bore a great deal of responsibility and carved the meat on Sundays.

The heroes developed physical symptoms, became ill and a mere shadow of their former selves. Exhausted and tired.

BEING UNDER STRAIN HAS EXPERIENCED A REVERSE CAREER FOR ALL AGES.

From being under strain to a burnout

By now, being under strain has experienced a reverse career for all ages. After the 50-year-olds, it became an often seen guest among the 40-year-olds, then the 30-year-olds and by now it is a frequent visitor for the 20-year-olds. And, in these times of equality, for both men and women. A new era, a new name. And we call it: Burnout.

Not an honorary nickname for the new bearers. They, who weren’t successful. Young, promising and totally burned out. And that in a world that offers more opportunities than ever before. To so many. And circumstances that can be created.

A quarter-life crisis or be successful!

At a quarter of your life. Your head filled with possibilities, expectations, choices, opportunities, career. As well as missed opportunities, lost loves and goals not achieved. What is new? It’s been this way for ages. Look in life’s mouth and jump.

CAUSE I WONDER SOMETIMES / ABOUT THE OUTCOME / OF A STILL VERDICTLESS LIFE / AM I LIVING IT RIGHT?
– JOHN MAYER.

A quarter-life crisis or be successful!

At a quarter of your life. Your head filled with possibilities, expectations, choices, opportunities, career. As well as missed opportunities, lost loves and goals not achieved. What is new? It’s been this way for ages. Look in life’s mouth and jump.
People still jump but no longer practice. There is no playtime. You can only make a mistake once. You have to then stand there. Knowledge is everything and experience is suspicious. That which you have to know, comes with the speed of the Internet and is already accessible at a very young age. It’s all about the cloud, stupid. The amount of daily information has increased substantially and can no longer be taken in at a glance.

When Canadian psycho-analyst Elliott Jacques coined the term  quarterlife crisis in the 1960s, it concerned an existential struggle.
A question regarding the sense of life. Just like Benjamin, in the Mike Nichols’ movie The Graduate. Those who do not ask this question, sell themselves and life short.

A struggle that cannot be won?

Currently however, the term is related to burnout. To have to admit defeat at a quarter of your life. Because the struggle can’t be won. All looks well on the outside. Highly educated, beautiful career, a rich social life and with the future still ahead of you. On the inside, however, there is unrest, uncertainty, a feeling of failure, a panic regarding that which has not yet been achieved.

In the old days having a choice was a luxury, the creation of an enrichment. Currently it’s a loss. Why? Because we must be able to do everything, now and at the same time. Hesitating, considering, understanding someone’s feelings, taking time, not yet committing yourself; that’s no longer an option. Here are all the opportunities for everyone present, so what are you waiting for? Make a choice. Be successful!

The burden of being successful ?

If you’re not successful, have the courage to fail!

IF SUCCESS BECOMES A CHOICE, AND BEING SUCCESSFUL AN OBLIGATION, FAILURE IS A SPECIAL WAY OF STOPPING TIME AND CREATING SPACE.

The burden of success.

And if you’re not successful? If being successful doesn’t make you happy? If the excessive flow of information can’t be handled? And you can’t seclude yourself from sky-high expectations? When success turns into climbing a mountain without the proper gear and protective clothing. When being successful becomes a choice and an obligation. Instead of a reward at a later stage, after the climb. An increasing number of people between the age of twenty and thirty, already experience being successful in the various areas of their life at a young age as an unbearable burden. It makes them dispirited, anxious, indecisive, passive and results in a large feeling of failure and being unsuccessful.

Dare to fail and reap the sweet benefits

If success becomes a choice, and being successful an obligation, failure and being unhappy is a special way of stopping time and creating space. It requires courage to consider whether being successful in life makes you happy. After all, who doesn’t want to be successful before reaching the age of 30? Maybe you. Because you want to take time to find out what really makes you happy. Because developing yourself is much more valuable than having arrived already. Because you want to know who you really are.

After all, you still have three-quarters of your life left to reap the sweet benefits. And to then wait until they have become so sweet, that all the acidity is gone.

Ewoud Dekker

Burnout Retreat

Again moving ahead by briefly standing still.
Say goodbye to your burnout blueprint and again experience the feeling of Space, Energy and Freedom

Couple Retreat

Three days as the welcomed guest of the best senior experts in solving relational problems will definitely help your relationship move forward.

Personal & professional Retreat

Certain events in your current or past life can cause you to hit a wall. A Personal Retreat can enrich your life and give it direction.

Grief & loss Retreat

Dealing with a loss takes time and a lot of loving attention. We are expert in understanding those who are going through a mourning process and helping them move on

Ewoud Dekker

Ewoud Dekker, founder and owner of Arte dell 'Anima Senior 4D System Coach, Healthcare Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Trainer.

 

Marian de Neef

Marian Dekker-de Neef, founder and owner Arte dell 'Anima Senior 4D System Dialogue Coach, Hypnosis Regression Therapist, Voice-dialogue Coach and Trainer

Relationship problems follow you wherever you go

Relationship problems follow you wherever you go

Relationship problems are quite radical, they make you feel insecure and follow you wherever you go

Sometimes you lose sight of each other and your connection.

In a relationship you want to be together as partners, feel connected, grow together while preserving your individuality. It sounds so easy, but it often proves more difficult in practice.

After all, you wouldn’t be the first to agree that a long-term relationship can be quite demanding. You get to know yourself and your partner better every day and it doesn’t always turn out as expected. You both change, may develop different wishes and needs, enter into other phases of life and all that should be as synchronous as possible.

Everything around you is continuously in motion and as a multi-tasker it isn’t easy to perfectly control your roles as partner, career enthusiast, social networker and parent.

What to do when you hit a wall in your relationship?

That you may hit a temporary wall in your relationship is not that strange. You often manage to work it out with commitment and true love but there are times when love does not conquer all.

And you will notice this because you will develop a feeling of loneliness in your relationship. Or because the self-evident intimacy and romance that were there at the start have slowly become part of other household duties.

Those wonderful conversations you used to have will change into communicative battles that will continue to repeat themselves, despite your good intentions and love.

When negative patterns start repeating themselves, when you can’t really work things out anymore and your feelings of incomprehension, powerlessness, insecurity and down-heartedness increase, the time has come to seek help.

Relationship problems are quite radical, they make you feel insecure and follow you wherever you go

A harmonious relationship and a warm embracing family often are the most valuable assets in your life.

When they are put under pressure because of an imbalance in your life, work or health, the time has come to recognize the cause.

And to obviously find the solution that befits you.

Ring the bells that still can ring

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in”
Leonard Cohen

DESPITE OUR LOVE, WE OFTEN FEEL LIKE ALICE IN WONDERLAND WHEN WE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE OTHER.

HOW WOULD WE LOOK AT OUR RELATIONSHIP AND WHAT DO WE ACTUALLY SEE?

How do we look? What do we see? How is it possible that we do not see the same when looking at the same??

The image we see changes into the person who is looking.
It is not a different perception, it is truly a different world.

We all live in a personal and unique universe

We all want to be seen, heard and understood, particularly by your loved one, but how can you make that happen?

You often don’t know yourself that well and then it seems as if your sincere wish is sometimes hard to fulfill.
What is so miraculous here is that it can be done and that the instruction manual to actually see, hear and feel each other is a simple one.

Ultimately so, because we will first have to abandon that ever-present notion that only your own reality exists.

Your partner’s wondrous world.

If you are in love, the other next to whom you wake up is a miracle, is what the singer sings.

If you no longer understand each other, then the other is to blame.
They don’t see things clearly, get it all wrong and don’t understand you. They’ve left the path and have moved into a different world.

The latter is correct. Particularly in a literal sense. Everything is different in that other world. It looks, smells, tastes, sounds and feels different. It’s pointless to explain.

In your world you can’t hear, taste or smell it. Consider the divine wine in France that tastes a bit off when at home. You are bringing the bottle along, not France.  

It’s not a star I see, it’s always you.

The Recipe of Alice in Wonderland..

When each person, including your partner, lives in their own reality, you can only become acquainted with it by entering it.

Alice, the girl from Wonderland, has the recipe. With an uninhibited curiosity and the nerve to perceive beyond the familiar borders, she ends up in all kinds of worlds.

By drinking from a bottle with the label ‘drink me’ she becomes so small that she can walk through a tiny door, and by eating a piece of the cake that says ‘eat me’ she can reach a key that is located at an unreachable place.

Enter the other’s perception without inhibitions

If you enter the world of the other, without inhibitions, a new world literally opens up. The beauty you will see is beyond belief.  

See through her eyes, taste with her mouth, remember with her memory, think with her brain, feel with her heart, hear with her ears. In short; become your partner, albeit briefly.  

How? By letting yourself be taken along and investigate the other world without judgment and with Alice’s lack of inhibition.

This is how you bring along the wine and the country.  

There is no way of getting closer to your love than this.

The Recipe of Alice in Wonderland.

Enter the other’s perception without inhibitions

Each person has a unique blueprint of stories that influence your relationship without you being aware of it

Do you know which patterns strengthen your relationship and which undermine it? And how big the influence is of experiences and convictions from the family one originated from?

Are there perhaps non-processed painful experiences from previous relationships that impede you from opening up yourself to your loved one fully and fearlessly?

Which convictions impede the connection, intimacy and growth and how can they be adapted?

Do you really dare to ask for what you need and how can you truly open yourself up to your partner without fear?
There will always be matters of value to discover in each other and in the relationship.

Article Ewoud Dekker M/strong>

Relatieproblemen hoeven niet eeuwig te duren, er is altijd een een Next Level.

Ewoud Dekker

Ewoud Dekker, founder and owner of Arte dell 'Anima Senior 4D System Coach, Healthcare Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Trainer.

 

Marian de Neef

Marian Dekker-de Neef, founder and owner Arte dell 'Anima Senior 4D System Dialogue Coach, Hypnosis Regression Therapist, Voice-dialogue Coach and Trainer

Burnout Retreat

Opnieuw vooruit door even stil te staan.
Neem  afscheid van je blauwdruk voor burnout en beleef weer Ruimte, Energie en Vrijheid

Relationship Retreat

Three days as the welcomed guest of the best senior experts in solving relational problems will definitely help your relationship move forward.

Persoonlijke Retreat

Door sommige gebeurtenissen in je leven nu, of verleden kun je vastlopen. Een Persoonlijke Retreat kan je leven verrijken en richting geven.

Rouw Retreat

Verwerken van verlies kost tijd en liefdevolle aandacht. Wij zijn experts in het begrijpen en verder helpen van mensen in een rouwproces

De Accommodatie van Arte dell’ Anima

 

Op onze eigen Oldambster boerderij uit 1846 ontvangen we je graag. Hier vind je alle Comfort, Rust, Ruimte en Privacy om de beste resultaten uit je Retreat te halen. Ervaar de warme sfeer van ons  unieke Centrum voor Retreats met Exclusieve
Therapie & Coaching.

  

Neem gerust contact op