Relationship problems are profound , they make you insecure and won't let you go

Sometimes you lose each other and the connection.

In a relationship, you want to be together as partners, feel connected, grow together, and maintain your individuality. It seems so easy, but often proves more difficult in practice.

And let's face it, a long-term relationship requires quite a lot. You get to know yourself and your partner more and more, and that is not always as expected. You change, possibly get different wants and needs, enter different phases of life, and it just has to all be in sync.

Around you, everything is constantly changing and it is not easy as a multitasker to perfectly manage your roles of partner, careerist, social networker, and parent.

What if you get stuck in your relationship?

So it's not surprising if you get stuck in your relationship for a while. Often, with commitment and true love, you can work it out yourself but sometimes love does not conquer all.

You often notice this because you start experiencing loneliness within your relationship. Or because the natural intimacy and romance of the beginning has become part of the household chores department.

The great conversations of the past, despite your goodwill and love, often turn into communicative battles that are repeated over and over again.

If negative patterns start repeating themselves, you are not getting on well, and you start feeling increasingly misunderstood, powerless, insecure and despondent, it is time to seek help.

Relationship problems are profound , they make you insecure and won't let you go

A harmonious relationship and warm family is often the most valuable thing in your life.

When that comes under pressure due to an imbalance in life, work or health, it is time to recognise the cause

And, of course, find the solution that suits you

Ring the bells that can still ring

"Ring the bells that can still ring
Forget the perfect gift
Everything has a crack
That's how the light falls in"
Leonard Cohen

Often, despite our love, we feel like Alice in Wonderland when we try to understand the other person.
Because how do we look at our relationship and what do we actually see ?

How do we look? What do we see? How is it that we don't see the same thing, when we look at the same thing

The image we see changes in the person watching.
It is not a different experience, it is a truly different world.

We all live in a personal and unique universe

Everyone wants to be seen, heard and understood especially by your Love, but how do you get that done?

Often you don't even know yourself well and then your sincere desire sometimes seems difficult to fulfil.
The miracle is, however, that this is possible and that the manual to really see each other hear and feel turns out to be very simple in the end.
Eventually, because we do have to give up the entrenched idea that only your own reality exists.

The wonderful world of your partner.

When you are in love, the other person is a miracle you wake up next to, sings the singer.

When you stop understanding each other, you think it's because of the other person.
That one is not bright, sees things wrong, and does not understand you. Who is off the path, in another world.

The latter is true. Especially literally. In that other world, everything is different. It looks, smells, tastes, hears and feels different. Explaining it makes no sense.

In your world, you can't hear it, taste it, smell it. Think of the divine wine in France, which doesn't taste good at home. You take the wine, not France. 

It's not a star I see, it's always you.

The Alice in Wonderland Recipe.

If every person, including your partner, lives in a reality of their own, you can only get to know it by stepping into it.

Alice, the one from Wonderland, gives the recipe. With uninhibited curiosity and the courage to perceive beyond the limits of what she knows, she enters all worlds.

Drinking from a bottle labelled 'drink me' makes her so small she can walk through a tiny door, eating from the cake that says 'eat me' allows her to reach a key that is in an unreachable place.

Step uninhibitedly into the other person's world of experience

When you step uninhibitedly into the other person's world, a world literally opens up to you. It delivers incredible beauty. 

See through her eyes, taste with her mouth, remember with her memory, think with her brain, feel with her heart, hear with her eyes. In short: become your partner for a moment. 

How? By letting yourself be taken along and explore the other world without judgement with Alice's open-mindedness.

That way, you take the country and the wine with you. 

You can't get any closer to your love.

The Alice in Wonderland Recipe.

Step uninhibitedly into the other person's world of experience

Every person has a unique blueprint of stories that subconsciously influence your relationship

Do you know which patterns strengthen your relationship and which ones undermine it? And how big is the influence of experiences and beliefs from the family of origin? 

Perhaps you have unprocessed painful experiences from previous relationships that prevent you from opening up to your Love fully and without fear?

What beliefs hinder connection, intimacy and growth and how can they be adjusted?

Do you really dare to ask for what you need and how can you really open up to your partner without fear?

There are always valuable things to discover in each other and in the relationship.

Article drs Ewoud Dekker

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