The Recipe of Alice in Wonderland.

Enter the other’s perception without inhibitions

Relationship problems are quite radical, they make you feel insecure and follow you wherever you go

Sometimes you lose sight of each other and your connection.

In a relationship you want to be together as partners, feel connected, grow together while preserving your individuality. It sounds so easy, but it often proves more difficult in practice.

After all, you wouldn’t be the first to agree that a long-term relationship can be quite demanding. You get to know yourself and your partner better every day and it doesn’t always turn out as expected. You both change, may develop different wishes and needs, enter into other phases of life and all that should be as synchronous as possible.

Everything around you is continuously in motion and as a multi-tasker it isn’t easy to perfectly control your roles as partner, career enthusiast, social networker and parent.

What to do when you hit a wall in your relationship?

That you may hit a temporary wall in your relationship is not that strange. You often manage to work it out with commitment and true love but there are times when love does not conquer all.

And you will notice this because you will develop a feeling of loneliness in your relationship. Or because the self-evident intimacy and romance that were there at the start have slowly become part of other household duties.

Those wonderful conversations you used to have will change into communicative battles that will continue to repeat themselves, despite your good intentions and love.

When negative patterns start repeating themselves, when you can’t really work things out anymore and your feelings of incomprehension, powerlessness, insecurity and down-heartedness increase, the time has come to seek help.

Relationship problems are quite radical, they make you feel insecure and follow you wherever you go

A harmonious relationship and a warm embracing family often are the most valuable assets in your life.

When they are put under pressure because of an imbalance in your life, work or health, the time has come to recognize the cause.

And to obviously find the solution that befits you.

Ring the bells that still can ring

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in”
Leonard Cohen



How do we look? What do we see? How is it possible that we do not see the same when looking at the same??

The image we see changes into the person who is looking.
It is not a different perception, it is truly a different world.

We all live in a personal and unique universe

We all want to be seen, heard and understood, particularly by your loved one, but how can you make that happen?

You often don’t know yourself that well and then it seems as if your sincere wish is sometimes hard to fulfill.
What is so miraculous here is that it can be done and that the instruction manual to actually see, hear and feel each other is a simple one.

Ultimately so, because we will first have to abandon that ever-present notion that only your own reality exists.

Your partner’s wondrous world.

If you are in love, the other next to whom you wake up is a miracle, is what the singer sings.

If you no longer understand each other, then the other is to blame.
They don’t see things clearly, get it all wrong and don’t understand you. They’ve left the path and have moved into a different world.

The latter is correct. Particularly in a literal sense. Everything is different in that other world. It looks, smells, tastes, sounds and feels different. It’s pointless to explain.

In your world you can’t hear, taste or smell it. Consider the divine wine in France that tastes a bit off when at home. You are bringing the bottle along, not France.  

It’s not a star I see, it’s always you.

The Recipe of Alice in Wonderland..

When each person, including your partner, lives in their own reality, you can only become acquainted with it by entering it.

Alice, the girl from Wonderland, has the recipe. With an uninhibited curiosity and the nerve to perceive beyond the familiar borders, she ends up in all kinds of worlds.

By drinking from a bottle with the label ‘drink me’ she becomes so small that she can walk through a tiny door, and by eating a piece of the cake that says ‘eat me’ she can reach a key that is located at an unreachable place.

Enter the other’s perception without inhibitions

If you enter the world of the other, without inhibitions, a new world literally opens up. The beauty you will see is beyond belief.  

See through her eyes, taste with her mouth, remember with her memory, think with her brain, feel with her heart, hear with her ears. In short; become your partner, albeit briefly.  

How? By letting yourself be taken along and investigate the other world without judgment and with Alice’s lack of inhibition.

This is how you bring along the wine and the country.  

There is no way of getting closer to your love than this.

The Recipe of Alice in Wonderland.

Enter the other’s perception without inhibitions

Each person has a unique blueprint of stories that influence your relationship without you being aware of it

Do you know which patterns strengthen your relationship and which undermine it? And how big the influence is of experiences and convictions from the family one originated from?

Are there perhaps non-processed painful experiences from previous relationships that impede you from opening up yourself to your loved one fully and fearlessly?

Which convictions impede the connection, intimacy and growth and how can they be adapted?

Do you really dare to ask for what you need and how can you truly open yourself up to your partner without fear?
There will always be matters of value to discover in each other and in the relationship.

Article Ewoud Dekker M/strong>

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